I'm back, and I have something to moan about.
I am currently suffering from a rather nasty affliction which has been plaguing me day and night for many months now. It seems to be something of an epidemic, as I've heard of many a case among my fellow sixth formers, as well as GCSE and degree students. It's called revision.
I've been lucky enough to be granted study leave by my college, which I'm very aware many schools and colleges are no longer entitled to. I'm currently enduring day five of official study leave and a few things are starting to make me think that there's something wrong with this system. I tweeted earlier about the way that some revision days are frustrating and unproductive, and how others are maddening, upsetting and helplessness (or something along those lines) and as is probably obvious, today is one of the latter. Today I feel sick for worry, I feel achey from sitting in one place for so long, I feel lonely because I can't talk to anybody, I feel locked-in because I know I don't have enough time before the exam to do anything I enjoy, and I feel guilty for every minute I stop revising. (and I feel a little bit silly because I'm very aware of the irony that right now I'm writing a blog post when I should be working)
Last year, I was frequently ill between November and June because of prolonged stress due to exams, and I'm not alone in any of these things, because this is normality from the age of 16 and presumably until leaving education. There has to be something wrong with that.
Reading all of everything I've just written, the obvious response is "get over it". It's only a couple of months, and after all, there are lots of ways round all of those problems. Revision breaks, evenings with friends, better revision set up, etc etc. But talk to an actual A level student, because from where I'm standing, that doesn't seem that easy. Young people are NOT the lazy, incompetent beings we are so often made out to be, but they are not superheros. If there is no balance of education vs "doing life" vs earning money that won't end up with us being deemed as lazy or under-experienced or scroungers then we don't know where to stand.
Why are the lives of young people shut down? Why, during our teenage years, when we should be learning about life and getting out and getting experience and doing things more than ever, are we chained to desks? Why have I been held back from so many awesome volunteering and work experience opportunities because I know I can't be away from a desk for too long? Why, when we are so fortunate to have an education system which is free and enriching and life-enhancing, are we then limited because we don't have the time, or the energy?
I don't want to quote statistics on alcohol and drug abuse, or depression, or anxiety disorders, and blame them on exams because honestly I have no idea about the true effects of one on the other - but surely it's fairly obvious that forcing young people into a period of chronic stress (and, may I add, offer very little specific support) is not going to work in their favour.
I know many a hard-working, clever student who does everything to get good grades, and despite real intelligence and admirable diligence, does not fit within the borders of this system. To be judged solely on memorisation of names and dates and statistics instead of comprehensive understanding and end up with a label stuck on our record for the rest of our lives because the academic life didn't suit our learning style isn't right. I don't know if classroom based assessment is the way forward, but I know something needs to change. I don't know the solution, but I know that something's not right.
Those are my heavily thoughts and they're bound to change in bits and pieces because right now I'm at the centre of it and looking at it objectively is just impossible. I'm posting this as a reflection of my current experiences and those which I've seen in others over the past few years - because isn't it true that just sometimes, a subjective insight is the realest way to see the heart of the problem?
Thoughts welcomed.
